Cry No More
by Radical.2
Summary: Enter a world where guys cry and Quidditch teams are all-girl, where Draco writes a diary and Hermione doesn't like to read. How can you fight what's happening when it feels like that's the way you were programmed? Or charmed... Draco/Hermione.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, Draco here.

My mom says she wants to know what all happened this last week at Hogwarts

the last week of my last year there

but I didn't want to tell her

so she gave me this leather book

and told me to write about it

how I feel.

I told her I didn't have all the time in the world

but she said that that didn't matter

and that I could write like this:

kind of poetic, like freeverse

apparently.

So, I suppose I should get on with it and write about what happened

because I only have a half hour or so to write

before Father comes to wake me for breakfast-

or, more likely,

he'll send the maid.

Whichever.

So, the beginning.

We were eating dinner in the Great Hall

and it was just a normal day so far

a normal day of insults to the Gryffs

insults to the Claws

insults to the Puff-people

just an average day of insults.

But then one insult went too far

and Pansy Parkinson dumped her pumpkin juice on Blaise Zabini's head.

Bad idea, because he's been itching to start a food fight

itching for weeks.

So he launches a piece of pie right at her face

and she screams-

this awful, scratchy sound

it makes me want to run

run where I can't hear it

ten miles away, maybe more.

Who am I kidding

you'd have to be fifty miles away not to have heard that awful

shriek of a banshee

and I was sitting right next to her.

Then all of a sudden

chaos erupts.

The room is filled with food thrown everywhere

multiplied with magic

magically adapted to have perfect aim

which, naturally, amounts in utter disaster.

And then liquid is seeping through my hair

my skin, my shirt

and I am completely soaked.

I turn, and right by me is none other than Hermione Granger

evil bookworm Gryff Princess herself

and she's bent over in hysteria.

I blink the wetness off my eyes and rub them

wipe my face with my wet hands

and try real hard not to sock her in the nose right then and there.

Then I get an idea

I smile real wide

and reach for my plate full of pasta.

I pretend to hug her

and she's really surprised

starts to shove me away

but not before I shove the pasta down the back of her shirt

and then laugh in victory.

And then Colin Creevey is there

of course, with his bloody camera

and he's holding it up for a picture of me

and Hermione, too.

This is the part where it all went wrong-

just as he presses the trigger

or whatever you call the snappy-button-thing on the camera

some glowing alfredo sauce hits it

and there's this shiny red light

that keeps growing bigger and bigger

and brighter and brighter

redder and redder

powerful and more powerful...

until you can hear

and FEEL

this enormous BOOM sound

that causes us all to fall on our butts

into all the food that's on the floor

as if we weren't already spotted and stained enough with the stuff.

But that's not the worst part.

Dumbledore cleans up the whole mess with a hasty spell

since we're all on the ground and rendered speechless

for the moment, at least.

The worst part is that

when I'm standing up again to leave this place

I start CRYING

and I don't even know why I am.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, Father's gone to London for some business venture

or something of that sort

so I've got more time to write

because I find that it's actually kind of fun.

Mother approves

she understands

and she even smiled at me today

when I told her that I had written in here

and since I rarely see her smile

I'll keep writing in here.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, the crying part.

So, here I am

shedding these awfull wet tears

and I've never even cried before

and I don't even know why I am now.

But I feel all pissed off all of sudden

and I wish I were at home-

not here-

in my lovely mansion full to the of freaking lovely stuff.

Instead I'm here

with a bunch of total morons

and no one's even comforting me!

I mean,

I'm crying,

aren't I?

Isn't everyone supposed to pity me

or at least pat me on the back

and tell me that it's okay

and that they're here for me?

I feel the urge to be hugged

but I'm definitely NOT being hugged

and that makes me angrier.

So I look up to see why the hell I'm not being hugged

comforted

and to my enormously huge surprise

BLAISE is crying, too

just like I am!

I pat him on the back

because I'm sure he wants a hug, too

like I do.

But instead he turns really fast to me

and glares at me with narrowed, tear-filled eyes

and tells me to f*** off.

I almost tell him something just as bad

but I don't.

Instead I just put my face in my hands and cry some more

about how nobody cares about me anymore

and crap like that,

you know.

"Why the heck are you crying?" Pansy asks me

looking confused

and AMUSED

and not at all understanding of how awful I'm feeling right now.

How inconsiderate of her, right?

I give her a look not unlike the one Blaise gave me:

a ferocious look that's weakened by tears.

"I don't know!" I sob

probably looking totally crazy

but I don't care

not at all.

"You've got to help me! I... I need a hug," I inform her

and reach out to put my arms around her

but she backs away

looking a bit freaked out

and quickly moves away from me.

"Draco? Why are you-"

I don't even know who's talking

but I don't care either.

I just turn around

and I wrap my arms around her-

I know it's a her because I can feel the proof-

and cry even more

if that's even POSSIBLE.

Unlike Pansy and Blaise

she hugs me back

just like I want

and she tells me that it'll all be okay

that it'll all get sorted out

eventually.

I just keep hugging the girl

so tightly that I can hear her sharp intake of breath

so tightly that I don't ever want to let go

like, EVER.

But then she pats me on the back

and I get a good look at her

a good look of HORROR

when I find out that I just totally embarrassed myself

in front of Hermione.

Hermione Granger.

Princess Gryff.

But I don't glare at her-

I'm sick of glares and narrowed eyes-

I just whisper "Thank you,"

and try to smile

and totally

epic-ly

FAIL.


	3. Chapter 3

Next day:

One of THOSE days

the days in books

where you wake up confused

disoriented-

why am I asleep on the common room floor?-

and then it all comes back

floods into your brain

really fast, and your eyes get all wide

because it HAD to have been a dream,

right?

But then you start to get up

and look up

and you see Theo Nott sleeping on the emerald green couch above you

looking rather,

well,

DASHING.

You shake your head back and forth a little

to convince yourself that you're still feeling weird

that you're delusional

but it's no use.

I find myself

wandering over to Theo

one of my housemates

a Slyth

a GUY

and even though my brain is yelling at me:

_WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_

I'm still moving

still leaning in

still hovering above the seventh-year boy

still wanting to,

well,

I don't like saying this.

I couldn't really have felt like THAT,

right?

Not THAT much.

But I think I did.

As soon as my mouth is on his

Theo's eyes flash open

and he takes my shoulders

stares at me

asks what the hell I'm doing.

So I tell the truth:

"I don't know. At all," I tell him.

Theo stares at me more

his eyes a pure Slytherin color-

dark, emerald green.

After a moment

I take it as a yes

and I kiss him again

but he shoves me onto the floor

after only two or three seconds.

I look up at him

not even angry

but DISAPPOINTED.

And Theo,

he looks confused

sad

scared

but only for a minute

before he sits up

and says, "Get the hell away from me, Malfoy."

"Call me Draco."

That's what I want to say.

Instead

I walk away

SERIOUSLY confused.

I feel too messed up for words.

I groan to myself

loudly and long.

Then I'm back to wandering

wandering through the halls

wandering down to the great hall

and then I'm not wandering anymore.

I'm pacing.

I'm pacing back and forth

and I'm pacing in circles

pacing around the Slyth table

which is empty, oddly

pacing around the Gryffs' HQ

and then I've stopped pacing

and I'm lingering.

I'm lingering and I'm pausing and I'm flat-out staring

and it's all because I've stopped where...

WELL,

where HERMIONE GRANGER eats lunch.

Where she always sits.

And I can't remember why I know that

only that I'm not supposed to know that

and I'm not supposed to care

and I didn't-

until Colin Creevey's camera exploded

and it all went to hell.

Then again

Slytherin kids NEVER do what they're supposed to do

so,

since I am a Slytherin,

and I'm not supposed to think about Hermione Granger,

TECHNICALLY

I really am supposed to think about Hermione Granger.

So I end up spending the next few minutes thinking

and smiling to myself

and laughing out loud at the memory of her punching me in the nose, oddly enough

and leaving the great hall

and it's all because of her.

Everything seems brighter

more brilliant

and so I set out to find the power source

the reason I bothered to wake up this morning-

other than Theo Nott.

Because I never REALLY was attracted to him

and that's what I tell myself

I was just tired and delusional

and this

THIS

is the real thing.

Hermione Granger.

I start walking out.

MERLIN.

There she is.

Where do I hide?

That's the first thing

that comes to mind

not what to say

what to do

but WHERE TO HIDE.

I can't let her see me like this

haven't even gotten dressed yet

what am I wearing, anyway?

MERLIN.

AGAIN.

I'm in my UNDERWEAR.

Stupid spell.

I guess I will have to hide.

Then she looks up at me.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione Granger.

She's staring at me.

I'm in my underwear.

Story of my life.

Then she kind of smiles

says, "You're not the only one."

And I,

in all my intelligence,

reply, "Huh? What? Wha-"

and she interrupts me

with another quick smile.

"Everybody's freaking. Something went wrong yesterday."

"No shit," I find myself saying

then regretting.

WHY did I have to say that?

I must have sounded horribly rude.

And if it weren't for her

I wouldn't care

but she's here

so I do

and I regret.

"I'm sorry!" I blurt out

"I mean..."

"It's a spell. A curse, really," Hermione tells me.

"I've been talking with the house elves

they haven't been affected by it

like we are.

It seems that the guys are acting like they would if they were...

female.

And vice versa, of course."

"You're so smart!" I exclaim

and then regret another thing I've said.

MERLIN,

can't I say ANY BLOODY THING right?

GRR.

Yup. I just internally growled.

Wow.

"That's an interesting proposition," I add

trying to look all smart like she does

when she talks

answers questions in class

stuff like that.

"What do you think will happen now?" she asks me.

"I don't know," I say quietly

"everything's so confusing

and weird

strange

like I can't get a handle on anything.

Every time I've nearly caught up with it

it goes away again

and leaves me in the dust

breathless.

Is this how it always feels like to be a girl?

No wonder you always act like such bitches!"

More regret.

Merlin.

And why do I keep telling her everything?

I'll freak her out.

Grr.

At least she's not mad at me-

Hermione is laughing.

"You get used to it," she says.

"And being guyish...

wow.

I mean, can I tell you something?"

"Of course!" I say quickly

nervously smiling.

Hermione leans in close

and whispers,

"I don't like reading when I'm like this."

"MERLIN! Seriously? But you're...

you're...

Merlin, you're Hermione Granger!

WE'RE ALL GOING TO GO MAD!

THE WORLD IS ENDING!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

WHAT ARE WE GONNA-"

"Draco," Hermione cuts in.

"Oh. Sorry. I've been freaking out a lot lately."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Hey, Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"I was going to ask Ron or Harry, but they're kind of...

being crazy, you know?"

I nod.

What's she going to ask me?

Maybe marriage.

No, what am I thinking?

"Could you teach me to play quidditch?

I'm feeling this... this DRAW to play it

so I might as well, right?"

"MERLIN!"

I've got to stop saying that!

But...

Hermione playing sports?

Hermione not reading?

Hermione not with Harry or Ron?

Hermione with ME?

Playing QUIDDITCH?

Merlin.

**A/N: So, hello, wonderful readers! I just realized I haven't said that yet, so... hi. Sorry for the short chapter, but I'm off to see HP7part2 in a few minutes (FINALLY! I'm very excited.) so I wanted to quickly update this. So, I changed the title of this story from "Fighting It" to "Cry No More" which you might have noticed if you have this on story alert and have been reading since I started this.**

**Ha, I made myself a cardboard sword to bring when I see the movie, and I've named it Neville in honor of his epicness... I can't wait to see him in the movie! :D**

**Kudos to whoever reviews, even if it's to tell me to not write such long author's notes and longer chapters! :)**


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